In 2019, I completed my first 10-day Vipassana meditation course in Kushinagar, Uttar Pradesh, India. After five years, in 2024, I did my second one. Both experiences were very different for me. In 2019, my breathing triggered thoughts about mostly bad things I’d done in my life. During the second retreat, however, my thoughts went much deeper. They focused on my parents, my things, my brother – everything I considered ‘mine.’ Through meditation, I realized this attachment to things as ‘mine’ with childhood past experience ( the ‘Nine-Tailed Fox’). 

let me go deep on 19 and 24 learnings, what change, & Story

In 2019, two months before my intermediate final exams, I started reading the Bhagavad Gita and developed an interest in spirituality.  One day, after the exams, I reached a chapter that discussed meditation (including Yama, Niyama, Asana, etc.). This chapter explained the process of meditation, including sitting posture and rules.  The Hindi translation also mentioned that it’s best to learn meditation from a master. That day, while considering this advice, I got a recommendation video for a free 10-day Vipassana course with noble silence.  There’s an old saying: “On the path to Dharma, nature always helps.” However, nature also tests your conviction.  After watching the video, I eagerly applied to every nearby Vipassana center. Unfortunately, all the courses near me had waiting lists.  One day, while hanging out with friends and using my friend’s phone, I found myself on the Vipassana website.  Somehow, I ended up applying for a course in Kushinagar without any real intention. I simply clicked on the form, and my details were automatically saved.  On the last day of the course, people called me by my friend’s name. I had to explain that it was actually Manish.  Here’s the thing: The main goal of Vipassana isn’t to increase focus or become a monk. It’s about overcoming attachments and hatred. However, at that time, I wasn’t ready to let go of my attachments. This resistance affected me for the next five years.  Even during the course, I would always break the one-hour Adhisthana (determination) rule. This overall impacted my experience.  Trying to forcefully achieve inner peace backfired. After the course, I became an extremist. Fighting with your “nine-tailed fox” (representing negative desires) is like suppressing your bad side. It will eventually overwhelm you on a bad day, and your animalistic nature will take over.  (Here, you can add a brief explanation of the “two brains” theory you mentioned. Briefly state that the imbalance between the high conscious and animal mind can lead to unhappiness)

                                                                           2024

I felt incredibly unhappy with everything in my life, including work. I even gained 20kgs in just two months. In search of a fresh perspective, I decided to try a Vipassana course.  However, I was worried about repeating my past mistakes of extremism.  Surprisingly, I thrived during the course. I became very good at following the practices, even completing all the Adhisthana (determination) sitting. It might have been due to good karma or some unseen force that helped me learn and grow so much in those 10 days. 

 Most importantly, I learned that approaching life with peace of mind is key. Going to extremes, either striving for peace too forcefully or losing it completely, only leads to a loss of focus.

(Note: Grammer errors i used CHAT GPT )